


'You should've thought twice before you let it all go'

by Maid_of_the_mist_79



Series: Jim Halpert centric series [4]
Category: The Office (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Break Up, Cheating, Dwight and Jim friendship, F/M, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25676620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maid_of_the_mist_79/pseuds/Maid_of_the_mist_79
Summary: Pam struggles with Jim being in Philly and ends up sleeping with Brian.
Relationships: Jim Halpert & Dwight Schrute, Pam Beesly/Brian, Pam Beesly/Jim Halpert
Series: Jim Halpert centric series [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1860301
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> An alternative take on what could have happened (set during season 9). 
> 
> More characters and tags to be added as this progresses. 
> 
> Title from 'Should've said no' by Taylor Swift.

When they all watched the promos for the documentary all Pam could do was panic, she- and the rest of the office- had no idea just what they had and hadn’t filmed and there were certain things that Pam didn’t want to come out.

Pam had been struggling, almost to the point she was barely coping, with Jim being in Philly. She felt so alone without him there, almost lost. She hated not seeing him every day, goofing around with him at work, she missed her husband so much and needed him, and he just wasn’t there. The day of Cece’s dance recital she made the biggest mistake of her life. She just got off the phone with Jim and felt broken, numb. She missed him so much and their whole relationship felt so disconnected and out of sync. The sound-man, Brian, comforted Pam as the two of them had become good friends over the years, she and Jim had. Pam doesn’t know why she did it, what possessed her, but they ended up sleeping together in Dwight and Angela’s secret spot in the warehouse whilst Brian was on a break. She need Jim and he wasn’t there, but Brian was she thought as an attempt to justify her actions, and she felt lonely- that’s reasonable right?

Pam always assumed that no-one would ever have to find out, they were both in a relationship so why potentially end two marriages over a mistake, after all that’s all it was- a mistake. However, with the new revelation about a lot of seemingly private moments being recorded she knew she would have to tell Jim in case any of it had been recorded. She had to tell Jim because it would be better for her to tell him than he find out watching the documentary. 

Her idea was to phone Jim and tell him that she urgently needs to speak to him so he’d come home and she could come clean. There was no way she could do this over the phone. She was going to leave it a day or so, not wanting to worry Jim and she hoped she could find out more information about what was and wasn’t filmed, what she didn’t know was that Jim had spoken to one of the guys at Athlead and had gotten a week off, giving Pam no time to build up to telling him and plan what she was going to see. She tried to reason that it was good thing because it means she isn’t hiding anything from Jim and she’s not lying to him for longer that she has to. 

“Surprise.” Jim said cheerily as he walked into the office mid-morning.

“Jim, what are you doing here?” Pam asked in surprise, clearly not expecting to see her husband. 

“I managed to get a week off so we can spend more time together and because I miss you Beesly.” Jim said before lightly kissing Pam.

“That’s great Jim.” Pam said with a slightly false cheeriness, it wasn’t that she wasn’t happy to see Jim because she was she missed him so much, she just knew that it meant she had to come clean to Jim. 

After a couple of hours Pam couldn’t take it, she had to tell Jim- od course she knew telling him at work wasn’t the best idea but she knew if she didn’t tell him soon then she would chicken out and take the risk of not telling him and hoping it wasn’t aired in the documentary. 

“Hey Jim, can we talk a second?” Pam asked hoping Jim would hear the nerves in her voice. 

“Sure.” Jim said before following Pam into the kitchen. 

Pam took a deep breath before beginning. 

“I-I know this isn’t the best time to tell you, but I know I won’t do it if I don’t tell you know.” She begins tentatively. 

“Is everything okay?” Jim asks softly, a concerned look etched on his face. 

“I miss you so much when you’re in Philly-“ Pam continued before Jim cut her off.

“I missed you too Pam.” Jim said, placing his arm on Pam’s in comfort. 

“Jim, please let me talk.” Pam said to which Jim nodded in response his feeling of worry increasing.  
“I missed you so much and I really struggle to cope with you not being here. I just felt so lonely all the time. It felt like we were so out of sync and I hated it, hated being away from you. I just couldn’t- I couldn’t do this, work, raise Cece and Philip without you, everything just felt wrong.” Pam began explaining before pausing. 

“That’s why I got time off Pam, so we can work this out so it’s easier, so I can be here for you like I should be.” Jim reassured Pam, making sure she knew he would be there from now on and they could figure something out to be easier on her. ‘God I don’t deserve him’ Pam thought as she began to cry. 

“I’m so sorry Jim.” She wept. “I’ve ruined everything.”

“Hey, come here.” Jim whispered pulling her into a hug.

“No Jim.” Pam said pushing away from Jim. “I-I cheated on you. I am so sorry.” She sobbed.

“W-what?” Jim chocked out as if he couldn’t comprehend what Pam had just told him

“I slept with someone else. I just, I couldn’t cope and I needed support, I was so lonely and he was there and you wasn’t.” She cried, almost hysterical at this point, desperately trying to justify her actions because she couldn’t lose Jim she loved him far too much to lose him over a stupid mistake that should never have happened. 

“So it’s my fault, I wasn’t there so you cheated. Well I’m sorry Pam that I wasn’t there and I’m sorry for trying to provide for our family.” Jim said, yelling the last part which drew the attention of their co-workers as they heard Jim should. It seemed uncharacteristic as they never heard Jim shout, he rarely raised his voice and they certainly didn’t expect him to be shouting at Pam. 

“I wasn’t saying it’s your fault. I’m just trying to explain it to you.” Pam snapped back still crying. 

“I mean do you think it was easy for me being in Philly on my own, I missed you so fucking much Pam but I’d never do anything like that I love you so much, and I thought you love me enough to never cheat on me.” Jim cried showing just how much he was hurting by what Pam had confessed. 

“Of course I love you Jim, more than anything.” Pam croaked out in response.

“I-I can’t do this; I need some space.” Jim stated through tears as he rushed out of the kitchen. Everyone in the office was already looking at the door curious to see what would happen when they left, they did not expect to see Jim rushing out, wiping tears from his eyes. 

“Jim please don’t go.” Pam called after him looking as equally upset. Jim ignored her, simply walking out. Pam couldn’t face going after him, she turned around and practically sprinted into the ladies bathroom where she broke down.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwight comforts Jim

Jim got down only a couple of flights of stairs before collapsing on one of the landings, breaking down just as Pam was. Dwight soon caught up to Jim, but was not prepared to seen his friend/enemy sobbing in the stairwell. 

“Oh Jim.” Dwight said as he sat beside Jim who subsequently leant into Dwight and sobbed into his shoulder, in any other situation Dwight would have pushed him away, but Jim looked broken. They stayed like that for a few minutes whilst Jim’s sobs subsided and he sat up leaning against the wall. Usually Jim would be embarrassed showing such emotion in front of anyone- let alone Dwight- but he felt broken so didn’t care. 

“What happened Jim?” Dwight asked softly, showing a rare caring side. 

“Sh-she cheated on me.” Cried Jim.

“What?” Dwight asked, suddenly sounding angry.

“She said she was lonely, he was there and I wasn’t because I was in fucking Philly trying to provide for our family. All I was trying to do was provide for her, for our kids and it’s just not good enough. I’m not good enough. What did I do wrong Dwight?” Jim asked dejectedly.

“You did nothing wrong Jim, she cheated , not you. She is the one in the wrong.” Dwight responded firmly. As much as he had antagonised Jim over the years and pranked him, Dwight considered Jim a friend (not that he would ever, ever tell Jim that) and hated seeing Jim hurt like this.

“What am I going to do now Dwight?” Asked Jim sadly.

“I don’t know Jim.” Dwight answered truthfully. He couldn’t say whether or not Jim and Pam would be okay, that was up to them to discuss.   
“Do you want to stay with me for tonight? Cece and Philip are welcome too. ” Dwight offered, something that surprised Jim.

“Yeah, thanks Dwight.” Jim said as he wiped the tears from his puffy, red eyes. By the time they got back into the office Pam was back at her desk, no-one knew who looked worse out of Jim and Pam, what they did notice was the look of complete anger and distain Dwight gave to Pam as he walked in. Everyone was desperate to know what was going on. 

Jim could take anymore of being there, it hurt too much to be around Pam. He asked Dwight if it was okay for them to leave, which Dwight quickly agreed to, no-one would care if they left a bit early. The only thing Jim said to Pam was that he was going to be staying at Dwight’s and that Cece and Philip were going to stay with him that night. Pam nodded in agreement, not feeling she was in any position to argue with Jim.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any Jim-centric one-shots let me know and I'll write them xxx


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim and Pam talk.

That night Jim texted Pam, telling her that they needed to talk, but he wasn’t ready to that night. All Jim wanted to know was how she could do that to him. They agreed to meet after work the next day, which would be the most awkward and tense workday. Between Dwight glaring at Pam, Jim and Pam almost bursting into tears when they looked at each other and Jim excusing himself a couple of time because he couldn’t bare to be there, the office couldn’t help but speculate what was going on and if Jim and Pam were even together anymore; whilst they didn’t know the whole story they figured that Pam must have done something to hurt Jim and Dwight- obviously- had been told by Jim. Kelly and Ryan speculated (correctly) that Pam had cheated, whilst others said that Pam would never do that to Jim, or anyone because she wasn’t the sort of person to do that.

They met at their home at seven, well if it even was there home anymore because neither of them knew if they even still had a future. 

“Hi Jim.” Pam said, her voice quiet. 

“How could you do this to us Pam?” Jim asked the two had sat down and a few moments of tense silence. 

“I-I don’t know. I just felt so alone, and I needed you to be here and you weren’t. I couldn’t cope and made a stupid, horrible mistake.” She replied honestly. 

“It wasn’t easy for me either Pam. At least you had the kids with you, your friends- people you’ve worked with for years. I had barely anyone I knew around me and felt lonely too, but I still didn’t cheat.” Jim scoffed. 

“I know.” Pam said, looking down in shame. 

“I don’t know if I can trust you again Pam. I mean how do I know that when I go back to Philly you won’t sleep with him again as soon as you feel you can’t cope or as soon as you feel lonely?” Jim questioned sadly. 

“You can trust me Jim, I’d never do that again I promise you.” Pam rushed out, desperate for Jim to realise that it was a one-off mistake. 

“How do I know that Pam? I thought I knew you, I thought you loved me enough to not cheat in the first place now look where we are.” Jim sighed becoming close to tears again. 

“I wouldn’t do that Jim; you have to believe me. I love you so much and I can’t lose you.” Pam said, beginning to cry again. 

“Who was he?” Jim asked in a demanding tone. 

“I-I don’t want to tell you.” Pam said quietly as she knew what would happen if she did. It would make the whole situation worse for Jim because Brian was his friend and Jim would have to see both of them every day. The betrayal would somehow be worse because it was with someone Jim was friends with, yet another person he trusted betraying him. 

“Tell me Pam. I deserve to know.” Yelled Jim with clear anger in his voice. 

“It was Brian.” Pam answered quietly as tears began to fall again. 

“What? Brian, the sound guy, our friend? That Brian? Jim asked, hurt lacing his voice- it was like he couldn’t believe what Pam had just said. Pam said nothing she simply nodded, too ashamed to speak. 

“How could you both do that to me? You’re supposed to be my wife. He was supposed to be our friend.” Jim shouted.

“I’m sorry Jim. We never wanted to hurt you, we just- we made a mistake.”

“A mistake?” Jim yelled incredulously. “No Pam, a mistake would be forgetting to call me one day, not fucking cheating on me.” He shouted feeling beyond hurt.  
“You know what? Maybe this was the mistake- us- seeing as you cheated on me at the slightest bit of difficulty in our relationship. I mean it didn't take much for you to just throw what we had away.”

“Please don’t say that. Of course we’re not a mistake. We love each other and I’d never do that again, you know me Jim, you can trust me.” She said; she stepped closer to Jim and placed her hands on his face.  
“I love you so much Jim, and I know we can get through this.” She said softly. 

“I love you too Pam, so much, but if I can’t trust you then we can’t make this work.” Jim said removing Pam’s hands from him; as much as it broke him to say it, but he knew that there is no way back for them if he couldn’t trust her whilst he was away not to cheat. That’s not to say in time he won’t be able to forgive and they can work things out.

“So you’re going to throw this away over a mistake?” Pam cried in shock as she truly believed they would figure something out and that’s why Jim wanted to talk. 

“You’re the one who threw our relationship away when you cheated on me.” Jim retorted before leaving as he knew he had nothing else to say to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, I'll try to update more regularly. 
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed reading and are all okay xxx


	4. 4

The drive back to Dwight’s was a blur, he felt so numb, almost disassociating from himself and the situation. He couldn’t process that his marriage was over. He had loved Pam for years, a long time before they were together and it was over because he wasn’t enough for her- at least that’s what Jim thought. 

Pam broke down sobbing when Jim left, knowing that she’d lost Jim for good, that her marriage was over because of the worst mistake she had ever and could ever make. The loneliness she felt when Jim was in Philly is nothing compared to what she was feeling now. 

When Jim got back to Dwight’s all he did was tell Dwight that his and Pam’s marriage was over before going to check on Cece and Philp and going to bed, not wanting to talk to anyone or do anything- it all felt too numb. He didn’t get much sleep last night, he just laid staring at the ceiling think about everything he did wrong, torturing himself about how he could have saved his marriage before it completely fell apart. 

When Jim got into the work the next day he completely ignored the looks people were giving Jim and Pam, everyone itching to know what was happening. Dwight periodically kept checking on Jim who lied by saying he was fine. Part way through the day Jim called for everyone’s attention as he had an announcement to make, everyone quickly abandoning their work to listen.

“I’ve decided that I’m moving to Philly permanently. This is my last week working here. After Friday I’m moving away.” Announced Jim much to the shock of his co-workers. 

“What’s bought this on Big Tuna?” Andy asked confusedly. 

“Just certain things have changed and it would be better if I just focused on the business in Philly.” He responded. 

“Well if you’re sure Jim then I’m happy for you.” Dwight said and he offered to help Jim move fully to Philly. 

“Y-you’re leaving?” Pam asked incredulously. 

“I am.” Answered Jim curtly. 

“You can’t just go Jim, you have a family.” Snapped Pam.

“Had a family Beesly, you ruined that. We can sort out a schedule for who has the kids and when we look after them.” Jim stated plainly. 

“So that’s in then? You’re just walking away. You said I threw our relationship away at the first sign of trouble yet you’re the one leaving.” Pam yelled, not caring that they were in front of their co-workers/friends. She was so angry and upset Jim was leaving, deep down she couldn’t blame him for wanting to move to Philly, but it still hurt he was leaving. 

“And why exactly am I leaving then Pam? Why the fuck is our relationship over? I’m pretty sure you’re the one who caused that.” Jim shouted, anger clear on his face. He gets that he could have been there more, but that does not justify Pam cheating. Jim was going through the exact same when he was away from Pam, and he didn’t cheat.

“I’m sure what happened isn’t just Pam’s fault. Whatever she’s done I’m sure it’s not worth leaving over. ” Phyliss said, attempting to find some resolution and diffuse the situation. 

“Well Pam, why don’t you tell everyone what happened, why our relationship is over? See if they still think it’s not just your fault.” Barked Jim. Pam stuttered, unsure of what to say before deciding it would be best to say nothing- much to the disappointment of some of the Office employees. 

“So you’re not going to tell them? Maybe I should then.” Jim continued to rage.

“Jim please don’t.” Pam pleaded quietly, not wanting anyone to find out yet. She was so ashamed by what she had done to Jim and their family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My shitty, terrible Christmas present to y'all. 
> 
> Hope you liked this chapter and Merry Christmas xxx

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea when this will be updated tbh, the update schedule will be random 
> 
> Hope y'alls enjoyed this, if you have any Jim Halpert prompts (preferably angst) let me know and I'll get round to writing it xxx


End file.
